hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
