It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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