i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
