Christians are straight up FREAKS
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
