i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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