It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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