I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
