Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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