Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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