so let's talk penis.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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