May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
