Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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