Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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