I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
