I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
