Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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