Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
