she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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