well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
