So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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