it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
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no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
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Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
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