A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
