I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize