it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
