Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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