I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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