need another drink. this is the easiest way
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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