Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
