i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize