It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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