Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
