marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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