CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
