some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
