White coat. Heels.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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