whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
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Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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