Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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