Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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