I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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