Can Purell be used as lube?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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