did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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