i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize