it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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