The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
