Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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