If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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