I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
