Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
