Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
