so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
