She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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