Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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