is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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