please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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