Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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