It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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