I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
