that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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