The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
