I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
